Here are the things I adjusted on my upgrade to my Digital Story #1:
- I reduced the volume of the phone ring.
- I adjusted the balance on the sounds of my husband’s moaning (for some reason they came out sounding like an echo when I recorded them, but after the render, it sounds like I may need further adjustment).
- I changed the photo of the empty chairs to be a different angle of the student photo.
- I removed “*not actual biology students” …I had put the disclaimer to be slightly funny and because the kids in the photo are much too young to be 10th grade biology students… but I agree with Dmitry, it didn’t work.
- I changed from a zoom/pan to zoom only on the photo at 1:50.
- I put a “turbulent displace” effect and changed to black and white on the video of my husband “being in pain” because he totally was smiling and not looking “in pain” enough (more on that later).
Some of the comments that were not addressed this time:
- Laura noted, “One suggestion I have is to double check your transitions. Since you have so many visuals (which is great), I only saw a couple places that could be reviewed.” (and Dmitry also commented on transitions) — I agree there are some rough cuts in the beginning kitchen scenes as I was figuring out how I wanted the shot to look as I was shooting it. If I had more time, or had it to do over, I would not have two shots between where I’m grabbing the coffee cup and then zooming into the area where the bananas were (I added the second shot as an afterthought and it does jump right there). So I would either make one shot, or do some better feathering, etc., in the editing to make it more seamless.
- I got a few comments on my husband’s lack of believability. LOL to me, it is what it is. He’s great at a lot of things but acting doesn’t make the list. I pulled him in to help me, and honestly I caught him in a nap so he was already in bed and I just thought he would give me a few shots and I’d move on. But he’s very silly and a little ornery by nature, so he was definitely smiling in the video I captured and not looking like he’s in much pain. If I had it to do over, or had more time, I’d reshoot this sequence and try to get more believability out of him — I really wanted him to grab his stomach and wince, but I got him rolling back and forth and smile-wincing…. So… “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit” and also “beggars can’t be choosers.” …and then you throw an effect over it in editing hahaha.
- Dmitry notes, “around the 2:20 mark where you talk about the bananas being past their prime and banana bread I felt like I got out of the story there a bit. It was a bit too “conversational” at that point. I don’t know if that makes sense?” — yes, I agree with this comment, but I think it’s a larger [story structure] issue to fix. I feel this is an important detail, and needs to be in the story. The fact that I should have thrown the bananas away would have saved this entire drama from occurring, but I think maybe it should go earlier in the story, like perhaps in the kitchen when I’m noticing the bananas are missing…. I would do this update if I had more time or made a version 3 because there are a lot of adjustments and moving things around that would need to happen to make it work.
- I would also fix the balance (or rerecord) the moaning sounds because I’m not thrilled with the weird echo situation… not sure how that showed up in the recording and I need to do some research to figure out how to get rid of it.
- Additionally, Dr. Howell had some notes on tightening up the script, which I agree with, but I wanted to spend my time this week on getting video #2 done and not adjusting the narration, etc. So if I did a version 3, or had this to do again, I would tighten up the script and fix those details.
- I think overall, I got a lot of great feedback (so thank you all!!) and I will keep these things in mind as I work on my Digital Story #2. Thanks again!!